Musings
by Madbrilliant
Summary: Season One Xena fanfic. The stoic warrior princess allows the young bard Gabrielle to travel with her, against her better judgement. What does Xena really think about Gabrielle? Xena POV. Please read and review!


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Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine. They belong to Renaissance Pictures, USA Studios, MCA/TV Rob Tapert and all those lucky people.

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Subtext: Personally, I don't mind the subtext in the show. But this fiction doesn't have any.

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Archiving: Sure! Let me know so I can tell all my friends about it!!

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Series: None.

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Author: Spike's Soul Love

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Feedback: 

**Musings**

By: Spike's Soul Love

I don't know what made me let her stay. I mean, she was this annoying kid from a small village, giving me those big green eyes and looking at me like I was some sort of hero. Ha! Wait till she hears all the bad things I've done…I give her two days, the most.

I don't think she'll last. She already looks worn out from the long ride, and it was hard enough to wake the brat up this morning. What did it I suppose, was the fowl I warmed up from last night. I'm not much of a cook--I hate to eat my own food--but I was hungry. I started to eat, and sure enough the brat woke up.

"So, Xena." She says, smiling at me. "Good morning. Where are we going today?" She sits down on the log by me, and eyes the piece of fowl.

"I'm heading north." I said to her. "Want some? Not sure how good it'll be…but you can help yourself." I nodded towards the meat. She nods, and tries to pry off some with her hands.

"Ouch!" Exclaimed the kid. I shake my head and watch her blow on the meat. She finally takes little bites and smiles at me. I shake my head. The kid reminds me of my brother, Lycues. Something sweet and sour rose up in my throat, and my eyes teared up but I won't cry. I haven't cried in ages….not since my mother told me bluntly I was responsible for my little brother's death and she didn't want nothing more to do with me.

I sighed and shook away dark thoughts. She was so different from me, it was hard to believe this little thing wanted to travel with me. She kept up a stream of chatter as she helped me clean up the campsite. "Your horse is pretty." she said. "What's it's name?" she asked me.

"First." I corrected. "It's a she. Her name is Argo."

"Ooh, that's interesting. Argos…gold." She smiled. "It makes sense, your horse is such a beautiful color." Argo snorted at her compliment, making me smile.

"Be nice, girl." I whispered to Argo. "Well, I'm heading north…you're going back to Potedaia." I told Gabrielle. She looked at me huffily. "Xena! I thought you were gonna let me travel with you." Her lower lip stuck out, and I could see her eyes fill with tears.

"Look here, Gabrielle." I told her. "You're a nice kid, but you need to be at home. You're only what…fourteen?" I asked, just guessing. "So, you stay at home, and do the village life thing." I closed my eyes. Once, I had been her, with the 'village life' thing.

"I'll just follow you again." Gabrielle threatened.

"And I'll just take you back." I told her. "You saw what my life is like. Draco is one of my many enemies. I couldn't expose you to that."

"You're not, Xena." Gabrielle insisted. "I'm exposing myself. Besides, I know we're meant to be together." She flashed me a big smile. "We can learn from each other."

I almost laughed. Learn? What could she possibly learn from me? I wasn't a very good teacher, and I had done things that would turn her face milk white, or possibly green. Depending on what I told her, of course. "Go home, Gabrielle." I said. "Before you get into something you can't get out of."

Gabrielle swung her head, her pale hair flying around her. Amazing how much the color was like Lyceus's…she also sort of reminded me of him. Lycues had her zest for life. "No, Xena. You are my home. I don't belong there in that village, wasting away all of my talents." She insisted. "I belong with you, traveling, exploring the world…seeing things. I can cook!" She added desperately. "I'll do all the washings…please, let me come and keep you company! Don't you get lonely?"

Lonely? I thought about it. Yes, I was lonely. A broken soul, lost spirit. Hercules had helped me to see that I didn't have to be that evil woman I was. I had a lot to make up for…but did I want to do it alone? I closed my eyes. It was best not to get her involved…she was too fragile for my kind. I would harm her in the end.

"Please, Gabrielle." I touched her shoulder. "Go home. I don't want to ruin you, too."

"How could you ruin me?" Gabrielle asked. She looked puzzled. "If anything, you could only enhance my life. I've decided. I'm staying with you Xena, and that's all there is to it." She swung back around, taking a few steps ahead of me, determined to show me she could handle my sort of life style. Gabrielle turned back around. "And if you try to take me home again, I'll just follow you. I'll keep doing that till you get it through your head that we belong together."

I raised an eyebrow and eyed her. "All right." I finally relented. "But these are the rules. You stay away from anyone that looks dangerous. Don't go spouting off that you know me." I warned. "I have a bounty on me….and I've done some things I'm not proud of. And, you can gather the firewood and cook. I'll do the washing."

Gabrielle nodded. "Sounds fair enough." She said. She smiled. "Does that mean I get to go with you, Xena, does it?"

I sighed. Against my better judgment, I nodded. "Yes, Gabrielle, you can go with me."

She beamed. "Xena, you don't know how much this means to me…it's…" She spread her arms wide, twirling, her peasant girl skirt flaring a bit. I had to smile. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, having a traveling companion. I just hoped she could cook better than me. "I think I have an idea, Gabrielle."

She grinned. "I'm going to write a story about this, Xena." She looked thoughtful. "I know that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be your bard! You'll live the adventures, and I'll write them down…this is great!"

I just hoped it would work out. "We still got a way to go till we get to Tibria." I replied. "So, come on."

Gabrielle nodded and hurried towards me. "Thank you, Xena." She said. "You won't regret this, I promise." She beamed at me.

"I hope not." I told Gabrielle. We started to walk, Gabrielle giving me a reprieve of her chatter for once. I smiled to myself. Maybe this sidekick thing wasn't a bad thing. I could keep an eye out on her, how much trouble could she really be, after all? Maybe it was because I saw so much of Lycues in her, and she reminded me of how I used to be.

I could've been like her, once. Life just made me take a different path is all.

Hopefully, her path wouldn't be darkened by mine. If I could help that from happening, I would.

FIN


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